Music plays constantly in my life as I am a firm believer in creating your own soundtrack as we move through this world. This collection of musings is on various songs that help shape the soundtrack of my life.
I am not sure when I first hear the song, Love Will Tear Us Apart, but am pretty sure that it was when I was hanging out in high school with my dear friend, Susan. Susan was all things British (even though she’s South Georgia small town like me) and in turn all things cool. She was an encyclopedia of British music heavy on the 80’s synth pop goth, NME magazine and even a stent in an English boarding school. Like I said all things cool.
With out sounding too old, my time in high school was pre-digitization of music so spare money was spent on vinyl and using the local college radio station playlist as a running checklist of what needed to be added to the record collection.
My own collection ran the gamut from college radio staples like REM and The Replacements to the hard charging AC/DC and Iron Maiden. Susan’s collection leaned heavily to the other side of The Atlantic with plenty of vinyl from The Smiths, Siouxsie and the Banshees, New Oder and of course the band that spawned New Order, Joy Division.
The first choppy strumming of the guitar with piercing synthesizer lays down a haunting background for the opening vocals.
When routine bites hards and ambitious are low/And resentments rides high but emotions won’t grow/And we are changing our ways, taking different roads/Love will tear us apart
From here, the saddest song ever continues in a downward spiral much like the relationship that Ian Curtis describes in a voice that sounds and feels as forlorn as the lyrics.
If the second stanza…
Why is the bedroom so cold turned away on your side?/Is my timing that flawed, our respect runs so dry?/Yet there is still this appeal that we’ve kept through our lives/Love will tear us apart
doesn’t rip out your heart, then consider this.
Lead singer, Ian Curtis, suffered from both epilepsy and depression and was dealing with a failed marriage. He would kill himself by hanging a few months before Love Will Tear Us Apart was released as a single.
So why even listen to the saddest song ever?
For me it is a type of affirmation. There is no joy in others’ pain and suffering but knowing that others hurt and feel in the same way provides comfort.
The song itself provides no comfort, no resolution and little hope. Even though the song feels hopeless knowing some of the backstory of what becomes of Joy Division after Ian Curtis’s death provides a bit of a phoenix from the ashes story.
The remaining members of Joy Division would go on to form the band, New Order. The dance heavy electronic music of New Order would help to provide a more upbeat antiseptic to the saddest song ever.
At the end of the day I often find myself drawn to the saddest songs. Some where deep in their anguish and sorrow I find hope and happiness.
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